


that twitter fic about the founding fathers

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Twitter, about the founding fathers okay, i guess, i'm sorry mom, it's just twitterfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5937796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@real_tjeffs<br/>     Voting is on #fleek kids!!</p><p>@a.ham<br/>     Please @real_tjeffs / fucker GO Fuck yourself You mac &cheese motherFucker spineless [1]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**@real_tjeffs**

it’s _#lit_ in the white house tonight

 

**@real_tjeffs**

voting is on _#fleek_ kids!!

 

**@ ** **adotham******

Please _@real_tjeffs_ / fucker GO Fuck yourself You mac  &cheese motherFucker spineless [1]

 

**@ ** **adotham******

_@real_tjeffs_ jellyfish I personally find your use of the English Language an insult and everything you do Is a cold calculatingPolitical[2]

 

**@ ** **adotham******

_@real_tjeffs_ scheme as a Poor attempt to appeal to the Youths of America  & you shouldNot judge their intelligence by ignoring the real [3]

 

**@adotham**

_@real_tjeffs_ issues that plague Their community [4]

 

**@horsefucker**

@ _adotham_ dude 

 

**@real_tjeffs**

_@adotham_ Did you write this blindfolded?

 

**@ **adotham****

_@real_tjeffs_ yet Somehow it manages to hold More substance and Sense than your Entire politiCal career.

 

**@jlaurens**

_@a.ham @real_tjeffs_ FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 

**@freshbaguette**

this is, how you say, hilarious

 

**@ ** **adotham******

_@freshbaguette_  YOU KNOW HOW TO sPEAk EnGLISH

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@jlaurens_ Please don’t encourage him

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ Pick up milk tonight.

 

**@ ** **adotham******

@eliiiiza after I Destroy this HallwayBed fuckEr’s entire Disgusting career dear

 

* * *

 

**A SINGLE HAM**

  
A SINGLE HAM: I can’t Believe this.

GAY TURTLE (YOU): what

A SINGLE HAM: This Whole time??

A SINGLE HAM: LAURENS YOU KNOW TO WHAT I AM REFERRING TO

GAY TURTLE (YOU): ; )

A SINGLE HAM: YOU AND LAFayETTE

GAY TURTLE (YOU): ; )

A SINGLE HAM: i Cannot believe you are Behind @dril this is

A SINGLE: I

 

 

**AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTIN FRENCHMAN**

GAY TURTLE (YOU): alex found out

AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTIN FRENCHMAN: Good

 

* * *

 

**@real_tjeffs**

throwing # _shade_ at tonight’s # _USCabinetMeeting_ !!

 

**@real_washington**

@ _tjeffs_ Please do not throw anything at tonight’s debate at least pick it up.

 

**@ ** **adotham******

_@real_washington_ does this mean I can Tweet During _@real_tjeffs_ speech

 

**@real_washington**

_@a.ham_ I am not going to dignify this with a response.

 

**@ ** **adotham******

_@real_washington_ oKay so I Can catch up on my Shows correct? I won’t Talk

 

@ **freshbaguette**

_@a.ham_ i feel the day you stop talking is the day hell freezes over

* * *

 

**@s.seabury**

BREAKING NEWS: Homosexual Affair Between Treasury Secretary Hamilton and Gay Activist John Laurens? Read more at [_http://tinyurl.com/zkb3voa_](http://tinyurl.com/zkb3voa)

 

**@jlaurens**

apparently i am only a gay activist. never mind the many other orientations and the fact LGBT+ exists

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ does _@s.seabury_ realize we are literally all married to each other? and have been for many years?

 

**@ ** **adotham******

you Heard it here folks I am having an Affair with my longtime official husband who I am Literally marrIed to and have Been for seven years

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@a.ham_ pick up more baby food for phillip xoxo

 

**@real_tjeffs**

_@s.seabury_ THIS is what happens when we let immigrants into our government, ruining # _traditionalmarriage_

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@real_tjeffs_ Literally fuck off?

 

**@jlaurens**

@eliiiiza is a national treasure

 

**@a.ham**

came home to find @ _jlaurens_ and @ _eliiiiza_ holding hands on the couch?? an affair, in my own house, i cannot believe This.

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@a.ham_ stop tweeting and get back to work

 

**@a.ham**

i Am doIng both, ddear


	2. Chapter 2

**@adotham**

has anybody Else noticed That _@a_burr_ ’s Twitter account has nothing except the time he retweeted for a toaster Giveaway.

 

**@adotham** Do you think he Won _#GetBurrAToaster_

 

**@theoprevost**

_@adotham_ He didn’t he was very upset

* * *

* * *

 

**AARON** **BURR (SIR)**

 

**A.HAM (You)** : if there were two 

guys on the moon and one of

them killed the other with a rock

would that be fucked up or what

**AARON** **BURR (SIR)** : Talk less.

* * *

* * *

**@adotham**

@ _real_tjeffs_ suggested we cut down on expenses. rt if you think we could save money if we got rid of jefferson as he serves no purpose other t[1]

 

**@adotham**

[2] han to prevent anything useful from being accomplished and making the cabinet smell like mac& cheese Fuck You JEfferson

(retweeted by _@abi_adams_ , _@jlaurens, @angelicaaaa, @horsefucker,_ and 8104 others)

 

**@adotham**

_@real_washington_ Sir I Have received overwhelming support to Get rid of Jefferson I will present my case to You during your Lunch Break i[1]

 

**@adotham**

_@real_washington_ Have prepared slides and a Twenty Page document detailing the Benefits of suchaction. [2]

 

**@real_washington**

_@adotham_ Hamilton.

 

**@adotham**

_@real_washington_ I may be able to cut it down to Ten pages, Sir

 

**@jlaurens**

**** _#EatShitJefferson_

(retweeted by _@adotham, @eliiiiza, @angelicaaaa, @horsefucker, @abi_adams,_ and 66771 others)

 

**@adotham**

_#EatShitJefferson_ is Trending above the SuperBowl how do you feel About This _@real_tjeffs_

 

**@real_tjeffs**

Can’t believe SOME people resort to petty insults in order to further their OWN political schemes.

 

**@Buzzfeed**

10 Highlights from Secretary Hamilton Twitter War Against Jefferson [_http://tinyurl.com/jd8xqkv_](http://tinyurl.com/jd8xqkv)

 

**@angelicaaaa**

_@Buzzfeed_ We’re watching history happen in, folks

 

**@real_tjeffs**

_@angelicaaaa_ I cannot believe your sister married someone so incapable of polite conversation, Mrs. Church.

 

**@angelicaaaa**

_@real_tjeffs_ It’s Doctor Schuyler, and I don’t recall asking for your opinion.

(liked by _@abi_adams)_

 

**@horsefucker**

get FUCKED _@real_tjeffs_

 

**@jlaurens**

i want this entire conversation printed on my tombstone _@adotham @eliiiiza_

* * *

* * *

**@jlaurens**

_#confirmed_ _@adotham_ cried during tfas opening crawl _#Force4Ham_

 

**@adotham**

_@jlaurens_ YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’ SAY AnYTHING

 

**@adotham**

Today one of my Loved ones Callously betrayed me for his own Amusement _@eliiiiza_ Please tell _@jlaurens_ to stop

 

**@angelicaaaa**

_@adotham @eliiiiza_ is too busy crying over star wars _#Force4Ham_

* * *

* * *

**@adotham**

fun fact of the Day _@freshbaguette_ loves America so Much he named his son After _@real_washington_

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@adotham_ veux-tu regarder mon fils? georges ne parle pas anglais mais il est très mignon!

_(do you want to look at my son? georges doesn't speak english but he's still very cute)_  

**@jlaurens**

oui oui hon hon baguette eiffel tower to you too _@freshbaguette_

_(if you think this is real french i'm going to stab own ass with a baguette)_  

**@adotham**

_@freshbaguette_ à condition que tu veux Regarder mon scrapbook à Philip

_(only if you look at my scrapbook of philip)_  

**@adotham**

_@jlaurens_ you speak French Dear Laurens

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@adotham_ injuste! ça livre est une brique!

_ (unfair! that book is a brick!) _

* * *

* * *

 

**@adotham**

_@jlaurens_ ' favorite Star Wars character is Jar Jar Binks

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ how dare you my favorites are general organa and poe dameron i'm offended

* * *

* * *

**@_philipham**

dfjlsklkjdgsa,, ,,,213i1qc;wgggg

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ did you make a twitter account for our four year old son???

 

**@adotham**

_@eliiiiza @_phillipham_ should Start early He Is a genius. His tweets are better than _@real_tjeffs_ speeches _#phillip4stateSecretary_

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ ???????

 

**@adotham** is following **@_phillipham**

**@jlaurens** is following **@_phillipham**

**@freshbaguette** is following **@_phillipham**

**@_andpeggy** is following **@_phillipham**

**@horsefucker** is following **@_phillipham**

**@theoprevost** is following **@_phillipham**

**@real_washington** is following **@_phillipham**

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@real_washington_ Mr. President, I mean no disrespect, but. Why are you following my four year old son on twitter?

 

**@real_washington**

_@eliiiiza_ We must encourage the education of the younger generation.

 

**@a_burr**

_@theoprevost_ Why.

* * *

* * *

 

**AARON BURR (SIR)**

 

**AARON BURR (SIR)** : Care to explain why I found a stack of packages

with nothing but toasters in my office, Secretary Hamilton?

**A.HAM (YOU)** : _#GetBurrAToaster_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: added french translations


	3. Chapter 3

 

**@adotham**

_@a_burr_ came into work today Without his umbrella and soaked and spent a Solid 20 mins mourning For his lost umbrella. this is the most he’s Ever spoken aboutHis[1]

 

**@adotham**

Opinions. Wish he did this for the Rest of his job. [2]

 

**@a_burr**

_@adotham_ I merely asked around if anyone had seen it.

 

**@adotham**

_@a_burr_ is Lying. _@real_washington_ will vouch for me.

 

**@real_washington**

_@adotham_ No I won’t. Get back to work.

* * *

* * *

 

**@adotham**

_@jlaurens_ bought me light up sneakers in American colors This is true Love.

(retweeted by _@eliiiiza_ and _@jlaurens_ )

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ finally you can compete with jeffersons heelys

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@jlaurens_ jefferson porte heelys?

 

@ **jlaurens**

_@freshbaguette_ oui il a l’air ridicule.

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@jlaurens_ lmao but in french

* * *

* * *

**@adotham**

hey take a wild guess on what _@real_tjeffs_ had for Lunch Today

[1] mac  & cheese (20%)

[2] macaroni and cheese (20%)

[3] shitty Kraft macaroni and cheese (40%)

[4] macaronis au fromage but somehow terrible (20%)

 

**@adotham**

Congratulations to Everyone you’re all correct I did Not even need to leave my Office i could Smell It from my Room. _#BanJeffersonMac &Cheese_

(liked by _@abi_adams, @jlaurens)_

 

@ **real_tjeffs**

It would be nice if some people stopped focusing on insignificant details and did something worthwhile. _#SIGH_

(liked by _@james_mads_ )

 

**@jlaurens**

_@real_tjeffs_ stop vagueblogging abt _@adotham_ and go back to eating your shit lunch

* * *

* * *

 

**@adotham**

Just saw @ _a_burr_ hit his head on a Pipe while walking Home

 

**@adotham**

He hit himself Again on the same pipe. i have never Seen stronger emotions since the Umbrella incident.

 

**@adotham**

the Perpetrator. _[img attached: BurrPipe]_

(retweeted by _@theoprevost_ )

* * *

* * *

**@Buzzfeed**

Anonymous online publishing of Aaron Burr Slashfic: “Amorous Intrigues and Adventures of Aaron Burr” READ BEST EXCERPTS HERE: [_http://tinyurl.com/gsljpfp_](http://tinyurl.com/gsljpfp)

(retweeted by _@adotham_ )

 

**@a_burr**

Did you write this?? _@adotham_

 

**@adotham**

no But I wish to meet the author and heartily congratulate them for this Magnificent Work of art.

(liked by _@eliiiiza_ )

* * *

* * *

**BEST OF WOMEN**

 

**A.HAM (YOU)** : Have You read this? [_http://tinyurl.com/gsljpfp_](http://tinyurl.com/gsljpfp)

**BEST OF WOMEN** : what is it?

**A.HAM (YOU)** :very intricate “fan fiction" of

secretary burr’s romantic exploits

**A.HAM(YOU)** : A Great deal of effort was put into this.

**BEST OF WOMEN** : well of course i read it

**A.HAM (You)** : i’m sorry What

**BEST OF WOMEN** : my dear alexander

**BEST OF WOMEN** : angelica and i wrote it

**A.HAM (You)** : I Love you.

* * *

* * *

**@real_washington**

_@eliiiiza_ Please come get your husband off the table. He has been there for two hours giving his speech.

 

**@jlaurens**

_@real_washington_ he likes to be tall.

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ Alexander.

* * *

* * *

**A SINGLE HAM**

**A SINGLE HAM** : I Feel that should bring up the Fact you and lafayette Run @dril more. i tHink i have purposefully been ignoring this fact In a poor attempt at denial.

**A SINGLE HAM** : this Was brought about From a reminder of the Betsy Ross tweet.

**GAY TURTLE (You)** :lafayette wrote that one

**A SINGLE HAM** : i can Tell.

* * *

* * *

 

**AARON BURR (SIR)**

**A.HAM (You)** : listen Burr. if You stand for

Nothing what will you fall For

**AARON BURR (SIR)** : it’s 3am alexander

* * *

* * *

**@adotham**

_@eliiiiza_ Please Help i lost my Checkbook and Account balance

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ you did what

 

**@adotham**

_@eliiiiza_ Please help me

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ i cant believe this

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ YOU’RE THE TREASURY SECRETARY HOW DID YOU LOSE YOUR CHECKBOOK!!

 

**@adotham**

_@eliiiiza_ please help

 

**@real_tjeffs**

Some people are just SO _#unqualified_ for their positions. Can we REALLY trust them to handle our nation?

 

* * *

* * *

 

**@dril**

scientists, Despite theIr skills Cannot seem toimprove the odor of Flatulence. what even is the Point then??

(liked by _@benfranks, @jlaurens, @freshbaguette_ , and 291 others)

* * *

 

**A SINGLE HAM**

 

**A SINGLE HAM** : my dear laurens what the fuck

**GAY TURTLE (You)** : wasnt mine

* * *

 

**PETIT JAMBON**

 

**PETIT JAMBON** : gilbert what the Fresh Hell

**FRENCHIEST BAGUETTE (Toi)** : je n’a pas écrit

**FRENCHIEST BAGUETTE:** et DO NOT CALL ME GILBERT

**PETIT JAMBON** : ???? But

 

 

**A SINGLE HAM**

**A SINGLE HAM** : dear laurens I find myself utterly Perplexed

**GAY TURTLE (You)** : well you know how i

said it was just lafayette and i

**GAY TURTLE (You)** : there might be

**GAY TURTLE (You)** : one other writer

**A SINGLE HAM** : who

**GAY TURTLE (You)** : franklin

**A SINGLE HAM** : oh My god

 

**BEST OF WOMEN**

**BEST OF WOMEN** : alexander are you alright?

**BEST OF WOMEN:** you haven’t complained about jefferson in a whole two hours are you feeling wel **l**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I feel like I should explain these events.
> 
> aaron burr DID lose his umbrella and wrote in his diary about it, and he also hit his head on the same pipe twice (http://thefederalistfreestyle.tumblr.com/post/138166975278/top-10-things-aaron-burr-has-ever-said-written)
> 
> "the amorous intrigues and adventures of aaron burr" were a real thing and i like to think eliza wrote but, who knows.
> 
> hamilton DID lose his bank book and account balance once. http://radhamilton.tumblr.com/post/138371804289/laureatelaurens-didnt-hamilton-forget-his-bank
> 
> ben franklin ACTUALLY WROTE a letter to "improve the odor of human flatulence" and that sounded so much like a shitpost, i couldn't. resist.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_Proudly
> 
> i can't believe this


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @m_adriennes is lafayette's wife, full name  
> "Marie Adrienne Françoise de Noailles, Marquise de La Fayette"  
> i'm not joking
> 
> lafayette's full name was  
> "Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette"  
> @french names what the fuck

**@CBSNews**

     NEWS: State Secretary Jefferson leaves for France on diplomatic relations trip today.

 

**@adotham**

_@real_washington_ Sir can we Make Jefferson stay there?

 

**@real_washington**

     _@adotham_ Hamilton.

 

**@adotham**

     now that _@real_tjeffs_ is gone the Whole Area has Stopped smelling like Six-day Old macaroni  & bad Fashion. Next we Might accomplish Something Useful _@France #KeepHim_

     (liked by _@jlaurens, @angelicaaaa, and @abi_adams)_

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**@adotham**

     LOOK AT MY SON!!! He IS WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE WHAT AN AMAZING SMALL CHILD!! _@real_washington @freshbaguette @horsefucker_

     [img attached: PRIDEISNOTTHEWORD!!!]

(liked by _@jlaurens_ and _@eliiiiza_ )

 

**@freshbaguette**

   _@adotham_ georges is better

 

**@a.ham**

    _@freshbaguette_ EXCUSE ME!!!!! You are completely Wrong in every way possible. Philip is a perfect child, eloquent and intelligent. yesterday[1]

 

**@adotham**

    _@freshbaguette_ he told counted to thirty And Correctly identified members of the cabinet, likeHe called @real_tjeffs ‘smelly poop fartface,’ anAccurate summat[2]

 

**@adotham**

_@freshbaguette_ **-** ion of jefferson’s character. can georges do that? [3]

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@adotham_ rt for georges like for philip 

[img attached: discoursechef.jpg]

(liked by _@jlaurens, @eliiiiza, @adotham,_ retweeted by _@real_tjeffs_ )

 

**@adotham**

_@freshbaguette_ HA! You only Got Jefferson, who doesn’t even really Count. _#PhilipBestChild_

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@m_adriennes_ est-ce que tu n’aime pas nos fils??? _(do you not love our son???)_

 

**@m_adriennes**

_@freshbaguette_ je n’a pas le temps pour ce. _(i don’t have time for this)_

* * *

* * *

 

**@real_tjeffs**

Back from _#France,_ it was _#lit_!!! J’aime Paris! 

 

**@adotham**

_@real_tjeffs_ go back. We Were so close to Actually accomplishing some Thing. _@freshbaguette_ Keep him.

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@a.ham_ nous ne voulons pas lui _(we don’t want him)_

(liked by _@m_adriennes_ )

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**@a.ham**

     had a frightening revelation today. Has Anybody else noticed _@real_tjeffs_ and _@freshbaguette_ look very similar???i can never look at lafayette the same Way again??

 

**@freshbaguette**

     _@a.ham_ je m'en fous

 

**@a.ham**

     _@FRESHBAGUETTE_ IF HE PUT HIS HAIR UP HE WOULD LOOK JUST LIKE YOU GILBERT

 

**@freshbaguette**

     _@a.ham_ don’t call me gilbert

 

**@a.ham**

  _@horsefucker_ looks like _@james_mads_???IS THERE SOME KINDOF CONSPiraCY GOINNG on HERE?? EXplAIN _@real_washington_ SIR

 

**@horsefucker**

     _@eliiiiza @jlaurens_ pls pick up ur husband he hasnt slept in like six days

* * *

 

**FUCK DE CHEVAL**

**FUCK DE CHEVAL** : i just thought of the best april fools prank

**FRENCHIEST BAGUETTE (Toi)** : go on.

**FUCK DE CHEVAL:** we just need to ask jefferson and madison

**FUCK DE CHEVAL:** also let ur hair down

* * *

 

**@ **adotham****

     came into work Today &found _@freshbaguette_ at _@real_tjeffs_ desk?

 

**@freshbaguette**

     I don’t know what you’re talking about _@a.ham._ I work here, or is this some kind of psychological attempt at kicking me out of office?

 

**@real_tjeffs**

     je ne comprend pas, _@adotham_

 

**@adotham**

     _@freshbaguette @real_tjeffs_?????? w

 

**@adotham**

     WHY IS _@HORSEFUCKER_ hERE?????? wHERE’S _@JAMES_MADS_ ??

 

**@adotham**

     MULLIGAN’S NOT YELLING OR ANYTHING HE’s ACTING JUST LIKE MADISON?? wHat the fucK???

 

**@horsefucker**

     What are you talking about _@a.ham_ i work here

 

**@james_mads**

     ye whatre you talking abt whyd i b at the white house dude

 

**@james_mads**

     lmao is _@a.ham_ feeling ok

 

**@adotham**

     _@real_washington_ SIR WHAT’S GOING ON

 

**@real_washington**

     I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, _@adotham_.

 

**@adotham**

     WHY ARE MY FRIENDS HERE AND ACTING LIKE THE HUMAN EQUIVALENTS OF A DIRTY SOCK??

 

**@real_washington**

     _@adotham_ I still don’t understand. From what I recall, Mr. Lafayette and Mulligan have worked here since the elections.

 

**@adotham**

     _@real_washington_ Sir, Please.

 

**@adotham**

     Hour Three of this. thing.? lafayette is Scarily good at acting like Jefferson? will need to Take short Break.

 

**@adotham**

     WHY IS _@JAMES_MADS_ AT MULLIGAN’S STOREW HA T he’s Acting REALly LOUD???

 

**@james_mads**

     _@a.ham_ always worked here dude

 

**@adotham**

     mmmmmnvnnnnnjkhkjhladkjlkjkkkkkkkkkknn

 

* * *

 

**MADISON**

 

**MULLIGAN** : is he okay

**MADISON (You)** : I feel kind of bad he just fell on the

floor and started screaming

**MADISON (You)** : Also my throat hurts from talking this loud

**MULLIGAN** : hell be fine dw

 

* * *

 

**@adotham**

     ran from madison/mulligan store. attempting Refuge into nearest Starbucks.

 

**@a.ham**

     I

* * *

 

**LAFAYETTE**

**LAFAYETTE** : how did he react

**JEFFERSON (You)** :He hasn’t responded

yet he’s just staring at me.

**JEFFERSON (You)** : This is the first time I’ve

ever seen Hamilton speechless.

**JEFFERSON (You)** : He ran out the door.

**LAFAYETTE** : great

**LAFAYETTE** : by the way nous ne sommes pas amis

* * *

 

**@real_tjeffs**

     ran into mon ami _@adotham_ à starbucks today!! 

[attached img: jambon]

 

**@adotham**

     ghhhhhhhHhhhhhhhhHHHHH

 

**@adotham**

     hour Seven of What my followers have Dubbed _#Swapmeet._ i Have locked myself fInside my office and Ccut All contact

 

**@adotham**

     I can hear _@freshbaguette_ and _@horsefucker_ outside the Door,. they Are “ in Character”

 

**@adotham**

     Hour Eight. i Hshould have bought Something at Starbucks.

 

**@a.ham**

     Hour Eight point five i Have sheltered myself debajo mi pupitre

 

**@real_tjeffs**

     _@adotham_ ça va? est-tu malade?

 

**@adotham**

     NO ESTOY eNFERMO 

 

**@james_mads**

   _@adotham_ wrong language bro

 

**@a.ham**

     que hice Para merecer Esto gggggggggggg

 

**@horsefucker**

     well hes reverted back to spanish i think this is a good time to stop

 

**@freshbaguette**

     c’est amusant

 

**@a.ham**

     ¡¡¡¡QUÉ VERRACos PASA!!!!!

 

**@horsefucker**

     _@freshbaguette_ i knew you could speak without the french accent

 

**@freshbaguette**

     je ne comprend pas ce que tu parle, mon ami _@horsefucker_

 

**@horsefucker**

     _@freshbaguette_ fuck off

 

**@real_tjeffs**

      Messing with Hamilton is fun, but we get back to politics?

 

**@james_mads**

     _@real_tjeffs_ Please. My voice is sore.

 

**@freshbaguette**

     right after we get hamilton out from under his desk

 

**@freshbaguette**

     _#SwapMeet_ Update: _@adotham_ refuses to move. it’s been an hour

 

* * *

**DEAR LAURENS**

 

**A.HAM (You)** : my dear Laurens, it Appears as

though the entire World

except for you And

Eliza is conspiring Against Me

**DEAR LAURENS** : i know i saw the whole thing on twitter

**DEAR LAURENS** :good that youre speaking english again

**A.HAM (You):** i hat e them All, except for you and Eliza and philip

**A.HAM (You):** and Perhaps Peggy on a good day

**DEAR LAURENS** : i never learned spanish

**DEAR LAURENS:** are you gonna get out of the desk soon

**A.HAM (You)** : No

* * *

 

**@adotham**

     _@_philipham_ at Least you will never Betray me so Harshly

 

**@eliiiiza**

     _@adotham_ please get back to work alexander and stop tweeting at your infant son

 

**@adotham**

     WAIT HOW DID THEY GET WASHINGTON IN ON IT HE NEVER GOES WITH MY PRANKS

 

**@adotham**

     _@real_washington_ SIR

 

**@real_washington**

     _@adotham_ Haven’t got the slightest clue what you’re talking about, Secretary Hamilton. Get out from under your desk.

 

**@adotham**

     _@real_washington_ yes Sir

 

**@angelicaaaa**

     _#Swapmeet_ is trending

(liked by _@freshbaguette_ , _@james_mads, @real_tjeffs,_ and _@horsefucker_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are just getting longer and longer


	5. Chapter 5

**@real_tjeffs**

Going to drop the _#HottestPoliticalMixtape_ ! It’s _#fire_

 

**@ **adotham****

_@real_tjeffs_ i thought we talked About This

 

**@real_tjeffs**

Link to my _#Mixtape_ XP!! _#TJeffsMix http://tinyurl.com/zh4g6z6_

 

**@adotham**

_@real_tjeffs_ Sweet jesus this is Terrible

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@adotham_ is there a way to, how you say, dislike a tweet?

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ bbygirl i’ve got a plan

 

**@adotham**

_@jlaurens_ oh?

 

**@abi_adams**

This can only end poorly.

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ has been locked up in his office for the last six days. This isn’t unusual, but _@jlaurens_ is up there too….

 

**@horsefucker**

rude if theyre fucking the least they could do is invite u 2

 

**@adotham**

EVERYONE I HAVE An IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT !!! DEAR LAURENS AND I ARE DROPPING A MIXTAPE!! _@real_tjeffs_ FUcK YOU!!!!  _http://tinyurl.com/jf52acm_

 

**@freshbaguette**

my question about disliking tweets still remains

 

**@abi_adams**

The State of American Politics _(_[ _http://tinyurl.com/zrlouzb_](http://tinyurl.com/zrlouzb) _)_ The state of American Politics are more suited to be on the title page of the jokes column. Instead of focusing on the real issues of our nation, leaders…

 

**@angelicaaaa**

_@eliiiiza @_andpeggy_ I can fix this. do you two still sing?

 

**@angelicaaaa**

_#SchuylerTapes_ Get back to # _WORK_

(retweeted by _@eliiiiza, @freshbaguette, @horsefucker,_ and 8924623 others _)_

 

**@MusicNews**

_#SchuylerTapes_ remain #1 on National Music Charts for fifth consecutive week, comprisedof songs telling Secretary Hamilton and Jefferson to get back to work and social inequality, from the Schuyler Sisters.

(retweeted by _@eliiiiza, @angelicaaaa, @_andpeggy, @adotham, @jlaurens_ and 1804 others)

 

**@adotham**

I Believe, _@jlaurens @real_tjeffs_ , we have been thoroughly Bested by the Schuylers

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ wouldn’t be the first time

 

**@real_tjeffs**

_@adotham_ This is only time I will ever agree with you.

 

 

 

**ALEXANDER’S NOT-DAD**

**ALEXANDER’S NOT-DAD** : I must thank you, again, for you and your sisters handling the situation with such precision. Is there any way I can thank you?

**ELIIIIZA (You)** : Well, you aren’t married to those two for

so long without learning how to manage.

**ELIIIIZA (You)** : And there is one thing you can do.

**ELIIIIZA (You):** My sisters and I had such fun making these songs,

well, we may be planning another. Care to make a cameo?

**ALEXANDER’S NOT-DAD:** I’ll see what I can do, Mrs. Hamilton-Schuyler.

 

**HERE COMES THE GENERAL/PRESIDENT**

**HERE COMES THE GENERAL/PRESIDENT:** I see productivity is up this week, Secretary Hamilton.

 

* * *

 

 **@adotham**  
****

_@john_adams_ brought his Dog to the White House. why Does everyone else get Away with this And not me sir??

 

**@real_washington**

_@a.ham_ We already have two tomcats here.

 

**@adotham**

_@real_washington_ Sir we only have One?? the one mrs martha named After Me? which I Must say makes it Slightly awkward when i overHear conversations on How “Hamilton” made a Mess On the carpet?

 

**@adotham**

Oh i Just got it

 

**@abi_adams**

It appears there is more than one Hamilton making a mess in the White House.

(liked by _@john_adams_ )

 

* * *

 

**@jlaurens**

hey anyone else remember the first time we introduced _@freshbaguette_ to _@a_burr_??

 

**@horsefucker**

_@jlaurens_ he was v confused & wouldnt stop laughing idk why

 

**@freshbaguette**

_@jlaurens_ IT IS NOT MY FAULT THE FRENCH WORD FOR BUTTER SOUNDS JUST LIKE HIS NAME!!!

 

**@adotham**

_@a_burr_ Pardon Me, are you Aaron BUtter, sir?

 

**@adotham**

i Can see several Similarities between butter and _@a_burr_ , honestly. They seem to Share similar political Beliefs. which is to say, None. if Burr wishes to Actually accomplish anything in his Career except to[1]

 

**@adotham**

simply Hold Office and Never be remembered ,he Cannot have the political backbone of Bowl of mashed Potatoes [2]

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ did you just turn my joke into rant about burr

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@jlaurens_ why are you so surprised

 

**@eliiiiza**

update: it’s been an hour and alexander refuses to stop refreshing his twitter until burr responds

 

**@adotham**

_@eliiiiza_ THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!! DON’T UNTHINKINGLY VOTE!!CHOOSE CAREFULLY RATHER THAN PICKING SOMEONE WHO SPOUTS NON-STOP MINDLESS DRIVEL!! HE EVEn rEFUSES TO RESPOND TO ****ME****!!!

 

**@eliiiiza**

_@adotham_ can’t imagine why he’d do that, dear.

 

**@jlaurens**

_@adotham_ alex come back to bed

**Author's Note:**

> sorry


End file.
